Everyone wants to know two things about my trip:
Which ballpark are you looking forward to the most?
Which ballpark has been your favorite so far?
Up until this past Sunday, Oriole Park at Camden Yards may not have always been at the top of the list of answers for question one,1 but it was definitely near there.
After the game, it’s absolutely the answer for question two.2
It’s a short jaunt to Baltimore from Philadelphia, just over 90 minutes, and relatively smooth for east coast traffic on a Sunday morning. I had a few hours to kill before my friend Randy showed up at the train station, so I drove down to Fell’s Point along the waterfront to explore and find some lunch. I made sure to get everything secured and slather on some SPF 50 in the comfort of the Mazda 3’s air conditioning before venturing out into the brutal 95 degree heat.
Listen, I’m from northern stock and I was built for the coolest climes, so I’ve never been a fan of summer except for it being baseball season. I’m only away from home for a week on this leg of the trip and I packed a dozen shirts knowing that I would sweat through at least one before lunch practically every day. I’m not going to get on a soapbox about climate change, but this data exists and threatening to fire the people who collect and interpret it won’t change that.
I made my way around the neighborhood looking for lunch options. I ducked into Thames Street Oyster House on a recommendation from the Moon bible, but they were packed and I couldn’t weasel my way into a single bar seat. As I could already start to feel my shirt dampening with sweat, I decided that I couldn’t eat in a hoity-toity place like that anyway. I found the closest bar that had a food menu posted outside, which ended up being Kooper’s Tavern. Not the most remarkable place in Baltimore, probably not remarkable anywhere, but the Natty Boh3 was cold and the crabcake was pretty tasty.
After lunch, I took yet another sweaty lap around the neighborhood before stopping in at The Sound Garden, one of Baltimore’s longest running independent record stores. I wandered around thumbing through bins for a bit, but mostly was just trying to beat the heat outside for as long as I could. Ultimately, I paid my part of the store’s electric bill with a purchase of the newest Les Savy Fav record, OUI LSF, which I probably should’ve bought at the show in Philly the night before. Now the challenge is making sure it doesn’t melt in the car before I get home.
For more indoor fun, I drove over to Federal Hill and checked out the American Visionary Art Museum on a suggestion from Romain. I really wish I had spent more than an hour here. The rotating and permanent exhibits of outsider art are fascinating, phenomenal and free of pretense. I imagine next time I come back to Baltimore, I’ll schedule enough time for a longer visit. Truly amazing.
The Moon guide’s advice for lunch didn’t work out, but one of their calls for pre-game drinks was dead-on. Randy and I met up at the Mt. Royal Tavern, a neighborhood dive just a few blocks from Baltimore Penn Station. It has everything a great dive bar is supposed to: dirt cheap beers, a great and loud jukebox, salty bartenders, a reproduction of the Sistine Chapel ceiling on its own ceiling, and only accepts cash. It’s also partially owned by neighborhood resident and electronic musician Dan Deacon, who is just a stunningly handsome man, if I do say so myself.
We took the Light RailLink train from Mt. Royal to Camden and struck up conversations with a guy wearing a green “SELL” shirt, which I immediately recognized as a symbol of the jilted Oakland A’s fanbase, and with a lady wearing a “ketchup” shirt that looked a lot like a “relish” shirt I had seen earlier in the day. The shirts were a free giveaway on Memorial Day for the first live hot dog race at Oriole Park. Up to that point, the race was a video board-only feature, while teams all over the league have some kind of beloved people-in-costumes race.4 Not sure what took the O’s so long to jump on board.5
The train — more a streetcar for this stretch of the route — was delayed getting down to the ballpark because, I shit you not, the people lined up for a Chris Brown concert at the nearby arena wouldn’t move off the tracks. The conductor actually got on his microphone and threatened to run them over. Thanks to the human traffic jam, it actually took longer to take the light rail a mile and a half than it would have taken to walk it. But, you know, 95 degrees. No regrets.
OK, maybe some regrets. I generally like to get to these ballparks right around when gates open so I can take it all in, get my bearings, take some photos, maybe grab some food. The train delay cut into all of that, as we arrived about 20 minutes before first pitch. We made our way through the Eutaw Street concourse, bordered on one side by the B&O warehouse made iconic by this ballpark, and had just enough time to grab a pit beef sandwich from Boog’s BBQ before making our way to our seats. I was very hungry and this sandwich definitely took care of it. Generous pile of thin-sliced smoked beef, with as much horseradish, onion and barbecue sauce as you can handle. For sure not the best pit beef in Baltimore — just as any concessionaire-supplied ballpark food is going to pale in comparison to a brick-and-mortar small business — but it didn’t disappoint in the moment.
I scored a great deal on a pair of club seats on SeatGeek, paying less than half face value. We made our way upstairs to the posh club level just in time for first pitch. Our seats were in the middle of a mostly full row, but the usher told us we could sit in one of the mostly empty rows just behind it and stretch out. Maybe it’s because I was visibly drenched in sweat and she didn’t want me touching the upper crust fans. Regardless, it was nice to have a little space and frequent beer vendor appearances for a reliable supply of Natty Boh tallboys to fully enjoy Camden Yards, one of baseball’s modern gems.6
In the first inning, Orioles catcher Adley Rutschman reached first base in an unusual way, swinging and missing for strike three on a slider that skipped away to the backstop. That prompted a trivia question for Randy: what are the seven ways that a batter can reach first base safely? If you think you know without googling it, drop your answer in the comments.
It was a tough night for the home fans as the defending champion Texas Rangers came out guns blazing. Rookie Wyatt Langford hit for the first cycle of the 2024 MLB season with a triple in the 4th inning, a double in the 5th, a single in the 6th and a three-run homer in the 8th. Rangers starter Andrew Heaney dominated the usually explosive Orioles offense, giving up just two runs over seven innings and striking out 10 batters.
Side note:7 If you ever tune into an Orioles game this season and hear what sounds like booing when rookie outfielder Colton Cowser comes to bat, don’t think that Baltimore fans are giving it to their own guy. I asked the fans in our section why they gave the rookie that reception: they weren’t saying “boo,” they were saying “moo.” Because Cowser. Cow. Moo. OK.
When the carnage was finally over, the visiting Rangers topped the hometown birds by a score of 11-2. My buddy Adam suggested that I start keeping track of the home team’s win-loss record throughout my journey, so the result of this game evened the Bleachers and ‘Bleeds Series at five games a piece.8
Randy and I exited through the gift shop a little after 10 p.m. and realized shortly thereafter that light rail service had stopped for the evening. Apparently no one bothered to tell the Maryland Transit Administration that the game was moved from a 1:35 p.m. start to 7:10 — or MTA just didn’t give a fuck — and Sunday light rail service from the ballpark ends just after 9 o’clock. Knowing that it was about a mile and a half walk back to my car, we decided to hoof it. The temperature had fallen to something more reasonable after sundown and it was actually a pretty pleasant stroll. Baltimore has a reputation for crime, but, at least on this stretch, it was quiet and peaceful.
About 50 years ago, Baltimore started calling itself “Charm City” and, I gotta say, they made a good choice. As a first time visitor, I was impressed enough by the city’s attractions and character to want to come back and spend more time exploring. After all, I’ve gotta find the best pit beef sandwich and we don’t have forever.
NEXT GAMES:
New York Mets at Washington Nationals, Monday, July 1, 6:45 p.m., Nationals Park
Houston Astros at Toronto Blue Jays, Wednesday, July 3, 7:07 p.m., Rogers Centre
The order and content of this list changes daily, even hourly, but generally includes Camden Yards, Fenway Park, Dodger Stadium, PNC Park and Oracle Park. Before you get upset, I’m only including parks I haven’t visited prior to this year. Take a deep breath, Cubs fans.
PNC held this honor until I went to Baltimore. It’s probably a #1 and #1a kind of situation. I reserve the right to change this at will for the rest of my life.
That’s National Bohemian, the historic and beloved lager of Baltimore, currently owned by Pabst and brewed under contract at the MolsonCoors factory in Trenton, Ohio.
Races I have seen so far this year: Seattle Salmon Run, the Great Pittsburgh Pierogy Race, Cleveland Hot Dog Derby.
Despite the hype, the O’s only have the in-person hot dog races scheduled a few times per year. Tonight’s would be a scoreboard affair, which was disappointing, but I can’t fault people for not wanting to run in a giant hot dog costume in 95 degree heat.
There’s plenty written on the impact and legacy that the retro-classic Oriole Park at Camden Yards had on the dozens of ballparks that have opened since its debut in 1992. Baltimore absolutely redefined the ballpark experience for several new generations of fans after decades of games played in soulless, multipurpose concrete doughnut stadiums. This tour would be a lot less fun if baseball were still primarily being played in those.
Footnotes aren’t enough, bro? Who do you think you are, David Foster Wallace?
David Foster Wallace couldn't hold your guitar Dude.
Now, as for the trivia question, it's 8 ways arguably
Hit
Walk
Hit by pitch
Error
Fielders' choice (which is kinda bullshit)
Defensive interference
The dropped third strike like you described above
+ (Arguably)
Pitch Clock Violation resulting in a 4th Ball being called. Yes, it's still a walk but it's weird as hell.
Apropos of not much, the funniest memory I have of an Orioles game is still 3 very little kids cheering on the birds chanting "Go Oleo! (clapclapclapclap) Go Oleo (clapclapclapclap"